Brain lint 2/23/10

Whenever someone is sitting on a bean bag, and that person holds out his or her hands for you to pull them up, something I really enjoy doing is pulling that person up until, at the last moment, I let go. It makes me feel a lot like Scar, from The Lion King. Except, instead of falling to his or her death, the person just falls back into the soft, plush, bag of manufactured beans. So really, it's a win-win situation that everyone gets a laugh out of. Unless that person had an injured back, in which case, I don't care because you shouldn't have sat in the bean bag with a sore back, anyway, jerk.

Brain lint of the day 2/10/10

I think that if a clown were ever forced into going in for a financial counseling session, it would play out something like this:

(Financial counseler is to be represented as FC, and clown as C)

FC: "So according to your financial statement, you spend over 500 dollars a month on balloons."

C: "Yes."

FC: "You cite those purchases as business expenses. Am I to understand these balloons are part of your act, therefore a necessary expenditure for your source of income?"

C: "Yes."

FC: "Well here's my concern: It states here, you make these large purchases on balloons, but with every paycheck you earn- now correct me if I'm wrong- you buy...more balloons."

C: "That's right."

FC: "Wouldn't the appropriate thing be to allocate that income to, say, bills, and other cost-of-living expenses?"

C: "But I'm a clown."

Brain lint of the day 2/6/10

Grocery shopping on Super Bowl weekend always reminds me why people, in general, really annoy me. I don't know what it is. Maybe it's the people who butt in line. It could be the moron's who can't count (or just think their time is more valuable than mine) who bring a shopping cart, full enough to feed the survivors of the apocalypse, into the "10 items or less" lane. Or perhaps it's the guy who refuses to have his groceries bagged in anything but his homemade, canvas, recyclable "totes," holding up the line, because he thinks he's Captain Planet.

Brain lint of the day 2/3/10

I hate when someone tries to cough into his or her hand, but rather than making the cupping formation as with the sneeze, they think that making a fist and aiming the cough in the middle of that shape somehow solves the problem. What is that? What are they even doing?